•Thoughts on Turning 30•

And just like that, here it is:

My 30th birthday. ☼

I’m officially shedding my twenties and cautiously stepping into another decade of life. It’s been coming for a while now— my partying days are long over, and each year I watch my wrinkly crow’s feet grow longer and deeper. Turning thirty means losing some of my reckless impulse and nonchalance. But it also welcomes a dedication and deepening of my own voice. And even though it scares the hell out of me, I welcome it with open arms.

When I was younger, I had certain expectations about turning 30. Of course, I’d be a top-notch adult who perfectly knew how to adult! I envisioned myself with a short, professional haircut and a busy career, owning a house with kids running around in the garden. Marriage was too cliché for my taste. Besides, when you really love each another, you don’t need a paper to prove it. Right?

How ironic that I’m celebrating my 30th birthday without a home, a job or children.

But hey, at least I got married! ☺

I’m writing this as we speak in a spectacularly cozy common room provided by Juan, on whose land we’re camped tonight. Juan and his father, also Juan, live in San Juan (no kidding) and have been welcoming travelers on their finca— a small farm— in Ecuador for the last 10 years.

Juan showed us around the property, introduced us to the cows and calves, and brought us to this room full of souvenirs, drawings, and photos. Surrounded by hundreds of photos of backpackers, bike tourers, van lifers and wanderers, his eyes gleam with pride as he tells us about the people they’ve shared laughter and tears with.

Juan’s common room where travelers and memories meet.

Over the past year, Ryan and I have met countless people like Juan. Truckers handing us bread and water when we needed it. A mourning family who lost their beloved abuela, nonetheless insistent to share a funeral meal with us. Hugs and wishes from fellow cyclists and hikers. Cheery waves from couples traveling in beautiful rigs. School children asking for candy and selfies. Road workers stopping us for a chat. There are so many kinds of love, and I frankly don’t know what to call this kind of love, but I’m forever grateful to have experienced it in abundance. ☼

Then there’s the love for these landscapes that we cycle across. From bird to hill to waterfall to waning moon, every single element in nature just makes sense.

Once you start seeing everything that’s happening around you, you’ll be left wanting more, I promise. It’s been my single biggest motivation to go hiking, cycling or just being outdoors. Nature is pure magic.

There’s also the deep love for people who understand me better than I understand myself. Who see my dreams, however futile and ridiculous they might be, and say: “Go for it”. Who stay by my side no matter how long or where I travel. The further away I am from friends and family, the more I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have them in my life.

Every time I make a wish and blow into an empty bottle of wine or pick up an eyelash or four-clover, I think of them and wish them all the health and happiness in the world. ♣

Last but not least, the love I’ve struggled with most is the love for myself.

In a way, I’ve failed my younger self’s vision and don’t really seem to handle the “adult” way of life very well. I’ve failed past relationships and hurt people I deeply care about. I could have had a career and a house by now…

“What if?”

But I chose to listen to that voice inside… and it has brought me to the most magical experiences of my life. I’ve hiked on the Pacific Crest Trail, a dream come true. I’ve hiked Canada’s Great Divide Trail and seen moose, elk and bear for the first time in my life. I’ve heard wolves howling at night and screeching owls flying just over my head. I’ve walked across Sweden and Norway, cycled through Spain’s remote North and now across South America.

It even brought me onto the same path as my life partner Ryan, a path we now walk together with never-ending respect and tenderness.

Oh, and humor of course… I don’t think any marriage can survive without it. ☺

So here’s a cheers to love in all its different shapes and forms. To being kind to strangers. To (re)connecting with the land you live on or travel through. To giving hugs to your friends and family. To laughing your ass off with your lover. And to listening to your own voice and following where it leads you. ♥